I could stay here, and wait for all the pain to go away, or I could go out there, fake a smile and wait for it to become a real one.
I would really like you to come back. I know you’ll say “oh, I never left” but you did. You’re gone. Maybe not physically but the person I knew is gone, I don’t know where she is, you are a complete different person now.
When I had a problem you would always understand, you were the first one I told, you were always there for me. No reasons, no excuses.
We have been through a lot and I thought we would be stronger, and for once I thought I had found a friend for life. I really thought our friendship would be incredible and no matter what happened, no matter how much we fought, we would always be there for each other. Now I realize how wrong I was to think that.
I even called you a sister, because that was how much you meant to me. Now I see how much you cared, and how much you are doing to fix things now: absolutely nothing. Because telling me you’re sorry and that you don’t have time even if you wished you did are just words, and sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes you actually have to do something about it. I mean yes, I do know you have been going through a lot, and I do know life is not how you want it to be right now, but that didn’t matter before. No matter what what going on in our lives we would still have time for each other, and if life was a piece of crap in that moment, then we would just cry, but we would always be there for each other. We would even skip class if we needed to, but now I honestly feel like you won’t even sacrifice a minute of your life for me.
Even if you think it hasn’t changed, and that I’m overreacting, then so may be, but honestly right now I don’t feel like I could trust you at all.
I know I should let yo go, I know I should forget all about you, I know I should move on, but you know what? As hard as I try, I can’t, I’ll never be able to. And I know why: because I still want you.